ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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