I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
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In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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