sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
