That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize