If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize