I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
