She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He did a backflip because drugs
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