I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
