so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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