He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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