i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
