Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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