i'm lost and i look like a hooker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
