he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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