Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
