is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize