I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize