People with herpes should wear stickers.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
