Do you still have your period?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
3pm strippers are depressing
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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