And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
