I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
