my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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