there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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