Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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