Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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