I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have post one night stand depression
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
