i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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