I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
