We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just had sex on a roof
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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