yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
