So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
