she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need to sanitize my soul.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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