you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
