This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
