I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
