Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
