I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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