hell yes lets make some ravioli
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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