also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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