Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
