its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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