Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
