This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
