Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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