Plan B is the new Plan A
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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