good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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