drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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