Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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