Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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