somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
