i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
