That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
