she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize