Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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