I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
