I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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