god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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